6 Non-Sexual Things You Can Do When You're Not in The Mood That Are Super Sexy
Sometimes you’re in the mood to feel sexy, but not necessarily in the mood for sex. Most of the ideas about sex we have learned from mainstream media draws a straight line from sexy to sex. This is misleading—sexiness is something you can access any time you want, for both yourself, or for someone else. Tapping into your sexy self during non-sexual experiences can help you be more present, confident, and relaxed during sex with a partner, or solo sex.
Here are 6 Non-sexual Things You Can Do When You're Not in The Mood That Are Super Sexy:
Hand and foot massages
The hands and feet have a lot of nerve endings that can be stimulated. Sometimes massages are used as foreplay, but they can be a pleasurable, sexy, and intimate moment on their own. Hand and foot massages can be a partnered activity or you can give one to yourself. Use a massage oil for a velvety texture. If you’re involving forearms or calves, try a massage roller glove to deepen sensation.
Here are some other massage accessories that can add to a hand or foot massage:
- Earthly Body Massage Candle
- Sexy Living Edible Massage Bar
- Province Apothecary Lover’s Massage Oil
- High On Love Massage Oil
Create a sensual playlist
Let music tease out your sexy feels. What songs inspire you to move your body in a sensual way? Think of music that makes us feel sensual and relaxed, and can help us get out of our head and into our body. Create a playlist for your own solo sensual play or co-create a playlist with a partner.
Take the sensuality further into a cuddle while listening to the playlist, feeling each other’s skin, eye gazing, noticing each other's breathing. If you’re enjoying your sensual playlist solo, try a self-massage with your eyes closed and feeling the music. Or get on your bed or on the floor and move your body along to the music. Focus on the feelings in your body rather than what it might look like.
Use a vibrator on a non-sexual body part
Wand-style vibrators are great for delivering powerful sensations to genitals and other parts of the body. Use your wand vibrator on larger muscle groups like thighs, backs, and forearms to relax and melt the body.
Shower or bathe by candlelight
Changing the environment of your shower or bath time can completely change the mood. Shower or take a bath by candlelight and even using your sensual playlist while you do! Try a massage candle that creates sexy lighting, but also melts down into warm oil that can be used post-shower to give yourself or your partner a sensual and oily massage.
Take a sex workshop together
Learning a new sexy skill together is a playful way to learn about sexuality. Take an online sex education class that you’re curious about. You might discover a new way to get turned on or gain confidence for a sexy activity that’s on your sexual bucket list. It can improve communication between you and a partner. If you’re taking it solo, it’s a fun way to engage in sexual curiosity without feeling the pressure or need to be sexual in your body.
Read erotica
Erotica can be amazing for your erotic imagination when you’re feel non-sexual and when you’re in a sexual mood. When you’re feeling non-sexual, erotica facilitates access to fantasies, stories, feelings, and a sexy mood. It can help you feel more sexually creative and improve your sexual communication when talking about your fantasies with a partner.
When you’re not feeling sexual, you can honour that feeling and still get the benefits of sexiness by engaging in other pleasure. Learning to feed your pleasure and separate feeling sexy from having sex can take some time. Be patient, approach new non-sexual ideas with curiosity, and tune into how they make you feel.
