And if you really want to do it right, may I recommend my two Of The Moment favourites: Intimate Organics Massage Oil and the Heartfelt Massager.  Each on their own are amazing, but combining them makes for a silky experience that is easy on the massager, and still results in bliss for the massaged.

I’ll admit that I’m partial to the Relaxing blend oil, with zesty lemongrass and earthy coconut, but the Sensual blend (sweet goji berry and sultry cocoa bean) and Invigorating blend (wild ginger and orange) are all amazing too.  These massage oils are very slick, very long lasting, don’t feel sticky, don’t leave you feeling greasy and did I mention they smell divine? 

The Heartfelt Massager is a little thing of genius too.  Because it’s made of wood, it doesn’t feel cold, but maintains a lovely and perfect temperature.  The stars of this tool are it’s two round nubs, but you can make use of the flat side, or the round top or pointier bottom of it’s heart shape to work magic too.  AND, when giving a massage is as easy as it is with the Heartfelt Massager, it’s very easy to convince somebody to help you release a little oxytocin.

Filament  Magazine is living the dream.  Working in print magazines in a time when many say that industry is on it’s last legs - and still making it to their first birthday.  And!  Working on a magazine that not only assumes that women are smart enough to read articles that don’t have anything to do with celebrities, diets, or celebrity diets, but also shows that maybe, just maybe, the ladies are ready for some artful but explicitly presented male nudity.  WHO’D A THUNK IT.

Filament is a joy to behold.  Matte, full colour pages.  Swirls, sepia tones, and dripping with decadence.  The magazine as a whole features a very specific aesthetic which, for the purposes of this post, I’ll call post-industrial retro raunch genius.  Issue 5 is dedicated to the 1920’s and features an interview with goddess of all that is weird and sexy, Amanda Palmer, an examination of the justifications for prohibition, and articles about flappers and polyamory.  Oh, and naked mens in all their full naked glory, just being naked and hot for you to look at and enjoy.  Naked. The guys here show a range of sexiness, but for the most part look more handsome and smoldering as opposed to beefy and vacant.

The past issues are also amazing with similarly lovely men folk, wickedly smart writing and an overall great looking mag that is a joy to read cover to cover.  Check it out for yourself!

Because of my love of this outstanding woman’s work, I was pleased as punch to see an interview with her in the Globe and Mail talking about her new book, and what women want.  You can check it out here: What Turns Women On: Less Kitsch, More Context.  It’s a great interview, and I also learned: Erika is 6 months pregnant!  Congrats Erika!

In addition to her live performance work, Ms. Moore is a full-time phone sex operator, dirty-talk educator, and creator of a forthcoming line of custom and off-the-rack audio smut (heh heh, she said “rack”).  You can catch her in Toronto at the Fringe Festival, July 2-10 (check out the Toronto Fringe Festival site for more info)  AND, she’ll be at Good For Her on July 7 giving a workshop on Phone Sex and Talking Dirty.  Come check it out!

Here’s our quickie interview with the lovely and talented Cameryn Moore:

How did you get into being a phone sex operator, and what made you want to build a performance around your experiences?

I started doing the work because I was laid-off and broke and my resume was a touch too eclectic for normal job-hunting. But people have been telling me for years that I should go for it, so I did. As for the play Phone Whore, I’ve been writing plays and shows for 8+ years on other subjects; this just happened to be the new raw material that my life presented me with. I also was thinking a lot about the issues of taboo and sexuality that were coming up for me as I worked with my clients, and sought a way in which I could explore those issues.

Do you find that men and women differ in their response to sexy talk?

I have never yet taken a call from a woman, so I can’t say, as far as phone sex. I don’t think men and women differ in response to sexy talk that much in person. If you’re wired for sound, you’re wired for it, whatever your gender.

If you could give one tip to someone about giving good phone sex or dirty talk, what would it be?

Listen. That’s how you learn what fantasies someone wants, and that’s how you get feedback about how you’re doing.

What can people expect from your workshop on July 7?

Well, they’ll get some anecdotes, but a lot of experiential exercises, too, where we practice description A LOT. People should definitely be prepared to participate.

Tell us a bit about Phone Whore, your play running at the Toronto Fringe Festival from July 2-July 10.

Phone Whore is a slice-of-life, one-hour visit with Larissa, a phone sex operator. The audience is in the role of a new friend, hanging out with Larissa while she is logged on at work, and they get to hear her side of four short calls that she answers over the course of the play. The first call is fairly “vanilla”, but subsequent calls are increasingly intense. In between these interruptions, Larissa discusses her profession, makes toast, praises the clients she works with, has several cups of coffee, and reveals the way that her work, life, sexuality and art have become intertwined.

Thanks Cameryn!

WANT A SPOT IN THE PHONE SEX AND TALKING DIRTY WORKSHOP ON JULY 7? JUST LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW.  2 WINNERS WILL BE DRAWN AT 5:00PM ON TUESDAY JULY 6!

Hi CoCo,

My guy and I have been in a bit of a rut lately and I’d like to try something new. I recently heard that guys have way better orgasms if you play with their butts (huh?).  This was news to me but I’m willing to admit there’s probably a lot I don’t know.  So…. here’s the problem!  I haven’t the faintest Idea whether this is something my partner wants to try or how to bring it up.  Then there’s the whole question of what to do and how to actually do it.  Help!

Curious about Boys Butts

Hi Curious,

Congrats to you on your willingness to venture into the great unknown.  When it comes to sex there are always new things to explore and lots of different ways to explore them.  Experimentation will keep sex interesting for both you and your partner so don’t ever be afraid to try something new and have fun!

The main reason guys like butt play is because it feels good.  Why?  well mostly because of the dense concentration of nerve endings around the anus.  You can totally do butt play without any penetration at all and just stimulate the external area. This kind of play can be done with fingers (stroking), tongue (licking) or vibrator ( um….vibrating).  It feels great and the bonus is that if you do want to penetrate him later he’ll be nice and relaxed.  Penetration feels wonderful as long as you go slow, use lube and aim for the right spot.  The spot you want to hit is the prostate, a male gland that is comparable to the female G-spot.  The prostate is not only rich in nerve endings, it’s also integral to his sexual function.  It creates the fluid that sperm swim in.  This means that it is engaged every time he has an orgasm anyway.  Stimulating it directly can only increase his pleasure

Now to tackle your  real problem - how to bring it up!  One way is to subtly introduce it by playing with his perineum during oral sex.  The perineum (also called taint or chota) is behind his testicles and before the anus.  It’s kind of blank spot on his body that we usually don’t pay a lot of attention to.  Next time you’re going down on him use a flat part of your hand (heel of hand, flat part of fist or pads of 3 fingers) to push up into his body when he’s getting close.  You’ll indirectly stimulate the prostate and launch his orgasm into the stratosphere.  Now you’ve just showed him something new without having to touch his butt at all.  He’ll surely be curious to hear about more.  Your other alternative is to show him this post or any other info you can find about straight men who like anal pleasure.  This subject isn’t as taboo as it once was so there are plenty of mentions of it in fairly mainstream publications (even men’s magazines).  You can gauge his opinion and see if it’s something he’d be willing to try.  Just remember not to put too much pressure on him, it’s his body and his decision.

The techniques, toys and other info are too numerous to go into here but here are some resources to help you get started:

DVDs

The Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men, Anal Massage for Lovers, Red Hot Touch Exquisite Anal Massage

Books

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, Anal Pleasure and Health

Web

Shopping for a Butt Toy

June is an especially busy month for Good For Her sponsorship, and we wanted to pass on the word about some of the events we are a part of in the coming weeks!

Queerlessness Magazine Launch Party

Queerlessness is the only FREE print media created by and for the queer womyn and trans community, focused on satisfying the demand for cultural, political, arts, health and social information in Toronto, with links to the global queer community.
FREE! + prizes from Good For Her!

Good For Her Community Mural Project

Once upon a time, Good For Her had a beautiful mural. Oh, we loved it so – from the blue skies to the anal beads discreetly tucked amongst the flora and fauna. Then, one day, somebody vandalized our beloved mural, and a lovely customer suggested how much she would love to lend a hand to fix it up and make it beautiful again. We thought that was the nicest thing we’d ever heard, and we’d love it if you wanted to stretch all those artistic muscles and lend a hand too!

Join us at 175 Harbord Street (around the corner on Croft Street is where we’ll be painting) for fun, frolic and a great community gathering! There will be snacks and frosty bevvies, and if you pitch in, we’ll give you a coupon for 15% off anything in the store! Mural painting will be led by Nancy Mix, and you’ll be able to contribute to a great neighborhood art project.

Please note: No prior artistic experience is required (we’ll give lots of guidance) and kids are welcome!

Day of Delight - a Celebration of Love, Courtship and Desire

This celebration presents some of Toronto’s most amourous artists! Bring someone you love to beautiful Dufferin Grove Park for an afternoon of music, dance, tehatre, a giant bicycle puppet parade, a fibre arts installation, stilt walking and much more!

Get Fogged Up! A Queer Women and Trans Bathhouse

DJ’s spinning all night:
Kalmplex
HollyRock
Cosmic Cat

Tickets: $20 (sliding scale available) advance tix available at:
Good For Her 175 Harbord St.

This event is licensed 19+, ID required
ASL interpretation available 11pm-1:30am
Partially wheelchair accessible, please contact us for details

The Antidote is in the Venom

Featuring Ivan E. Coyote, Sasha Van BonBon, Tomboyfriend and some of the Newsgirls boxers. Following the show, DJ Holly Rock will be spinning until the early morning.

This is an accessible, licensed event (19+), and food is available at the venue.

Tickets available at Good For Her and the Toronto Newsgirls Boxing Gym. Get your tickets early, they are expected to sell out.

COLOUR ME DRAGG: Silence This!

Colour Me Dragg is back!!! and once again we’re bringing you a jam-packed, one-of-a-kind drag and burlesque celebration of queer solidarity in diversity.  Featuring performances by indigenous, aboriginal and people of colour in what’s going to be our biggest event to date!

Hosted by Dainty Box and Kim Katrin Crosby.
Featuring performances by: ILL NA NA, Olivya Chin, Luka, Chromatically Correct, Sheesha YaDil, Sue Shi, Mackenzie, Chase Lo, Sammy Samosa, Take Me Spears & the Masarap Girls , plus more!

Also featuring a reading from his first book “God Loves Hair” by Vivek Shraya (vivekshraya.com)
…AND a special CMD group act performance!
…AND AND all the way from COLOUMBUS, OHIO…”For Dem Ladies”!
We will also have the honour of projecting a special installation created through the Hispanic Development Council: Huellas Importadas  (Imported Footprints) 6 Photo-Video Short Documentaries by Latin American Queer/Lesbian/Trans identified women, their visibility and invisibility in Toronto
Fabiola Jimenez
Veronica Bravo
Mariana Palhares
Sorel Aviles
Monica Latorre
Alba Garcia

Buy your Advance Tickets now! Available at Buddies Box Office.

Libido - The Dyke March Fundraiser
Thursday, July 1, 2010, 9pm
The Gladstone Ballroom (1214 Queen Street West)

Libido, the Official Dyke March Fundraiser, returns to the Gladstone Ballroom for a sexy pre-march soirée featuring: DJ Memphis Sugar, Cozmic Cat, Lucas Silveira (of The Cliks) and Dinah Shore Weekend’s DJ Saratonin. Hosted by the lovely and talented Deb Pearce. Raffle and prizes!

$15 advance at Good For Her, Toronto Women’s Bookstore and West Side Stories. $20 at door.