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May 22, 2013

Studio Ten is Open to all Your Desires!

Filed under: Good for Her News — Carlyle Jansen @ 2:39 pm
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Toronto has a  new sexy getaway space for anyone who wants to explore their fantasies, desires or simply learn some new skills! At Good For Her, we are fans of Aslan Leather quality products. Owner Carrie Gray has put the same quality, sexiness and function into this new dungeon/ party/ romantic play space.
Read below to find out more and check out more images at http://studiotentoronto.com/
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We asked Carrie some questions to find out more about what Studio Ten has to offer.
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What prompted you to open Studio Ten?

I wanted to provide a safe and sexy space where couples and individuals could experiment with bdsm and kink. I also wanted a place where the kink community could gather and hold parties, educational events, do film / photography shoots and make feminist porn. As a party producer I have always strived to provide a safe sexy environment for kinky queer folks to enjoy bdsm and sex play. Finding a venue that understood the concept of queer, kink and consensual sex has always been a struggle. My goal for parties at Studio Ten is to provide a space that encourages guests to explore their desire by providing porn for them to watch, a place to socialise, to watch others enjoy sex play and place that allows them to also enjoy playing with sex kink and bdsm in a  safe consent aware environment.
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What has the response been like in the space so far?
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We had our opening party on April 6th in association with the Feminist Porn Awards the response was amazing.! Everyone was very effusive about the sexy vibe the great equipment and the beauty of the bondage bedroom. Photographer and porn producer Carlos Batts said that Studio Ten  ” is a dream location” while he was shooting April Flores and Courtney Trouble on location for Courtney’s next film Lesbian Curves Rough Sex.
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Now that you have been open for a while, what has been particularly effective in terms of the layout and design?
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Studio Ten’s open concept layout has been extremely conducive for encouraging sex play at Switch parties.  The bar and provides an anchor for socializing and voyeurism. The play area equipped with a sex sling , slam bench, bondage bench and tripod with sit sling. The tripod also doubles as a hard point for rope bondage suspension. The bondage bedroom has luxurious wooden spanking horse a queen sized bed and a mirrored ceiling for more intimate sex play. The bed has a large 8′ x 8′ wooden  headboard with 8 anchors for leather restraints or rope. The bed is also equipped with 8 anchors strategically placed for various types of bondage. Couples and individuals can enjoy multiple options for various forms of kinky sex play a fantasy scene opportunities. They can rent the space by the hour night or multiple nights. The studio offers all the basic amenities of a hotel room plus the added bonus of a fully equipped dungeon and a bedroom that offers multiple opportunities for bondage and kinky sex play.

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What are the different kinds of ways that a couple could use the studio or what kind of a party could happen in the space?
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The space is perfect for kink workshops involving demonstrations all kinds of bondage, rope, strap on play, impact play , spanking caning and flogging the possibilities are really limitless. I envision having small workshops that allow attendees an intimate learning experience with an opportunity to try out the skills being presented with the guidance of an experienced player.
The space is perfect for play parties large or small..the capacity is 100 people.
Photo shoots and kinky or soft core and film video shoots also work really well in the space.
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For folks who have read “50 Shades of Grey”, what items and facilities are available there for them to live out a fantasy?
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The bondage bedroom which happens to have red walls was inspired by Christian Grey’s red room of pain, s fantasies of spanking and bondage can definitely be played out there. The bar offers a unique opportunity to play out various role play fantasies of strangers meeting for sexy adventures for example. The lounge is also great for more soft core fantasies and general socializing.
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Do you have to be knowledgeable about kink to enjoy the space?
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My concept for the space was to make it inviting for individuals who are interested in exploring kink. This is what motivated me during the design process I wanted to keep it open and inviting so that people who were new would feel comfortable discovering the joys of kink without being intimidated. I feel I have accomplished that goal and I encourage the kink curious to come and explore.
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How discreet is the space? Will others see people walking in and what is inside?
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The location is very discreet. Studio Ten entrance is situated in a private courtyard south of Queen st west and off of Tecumseth st. To access the studio one must walk down a drive to the back of the building to the private courtyard entrance.
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How many can sleep overnight?
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There is only one bed, which could sleep three or four. Depending on the comfort need of the individual the space could sleep up to seven people.
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Is anything not allowed in the space?
Smoking, loud music, animals.
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Anything else you want folks to know?
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If you want to check out the space you can arrange a private tour or come to one of the upcoming Switch parties. Switch Pride for women and Trans people on Saturday June 29th or Switch Trans Pride for queer people of all persuasions of Sunday June 30th. Info for both of these parties will be posted on ASLANLeather.com on Tuesday May 28th.
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You can also check out http://studiotentoronto.com/
Booking a rental is easy through Airbnb.
All guests must sign a waiver as a condition for rental. This waiver is made available for interested parties to read and consent to via email prior to rental confirmation. They can contact Carrie at any time with questions regarding the waiver prior to booking. Carrie@aslanleather.com

April 2, 2013

Clark Matthews on Feminist Porn and the Making of Krutch

Filed under: Good for Her News — Alison Lee @ 1:05 pm
What is it like to watch your work on screen?
Public.Provocative.Porn will actually only be the third time I’ve watched my work with an audience so I’m still getting used to it. At our two previous screenings I didn’t take my eyes away from the crowd the entire time. Experiencing an entire room full of people going on a ride together, reacting collectively at some parts, individually at others, all thanks to a dirty video you made with some friends is a lot more exciting than seeing naked bodies on a screen. I like being surprised by unexpected responses, and I love watching anticipation build across a theater one face at a time.

What does feminist porn mean to you?
To me feminist porn simply means equal porn. It means that everyone involved has equal agency and that equality exists both between all performers on screen and between those on all sides of the camera.

What is your most memorable moment from past Feminist Porn Awards?
This may be my first FPA but the most memorable moment from a past year for ME was discovering this picture while researching potential festivals for submission. A gala film event that awards its winners glass buttplugs!?! Sign me up!
What would you say to someone who thinks that porn is fake and marginalizing?
“Sure, it can be, but like a lot of things it depends on who’s making it. I mean have you ever heard of the Feminist Porn Awards…?”

What is the best blooper that happened on screen?
The first shot of our first adult film was a close-up of a chair as our star sat down. She missed. But it got better.

What word of advice would you give to someone who wants to start a career in porn?
“I certainly don’t have a career yet myself, so you should wait and see how things play out for me before even thinking about following any of my advice. The one thing I can say with absolute confidence, however, is that it’s possible for one video made with little experience and even less resources to earn you a spot answering questions on the Feminist Porn Awards blog. Unless, of course, I mess this up and the organizers never invite another first-time filmmaker to the show again - in which case, uh… my bad!”
What gives you the most satisfaction in your work?
The filmmaker in me enjoys the sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing a glimmer of an idea through to completion and having that thought recognized. The activist in me takes pleasure in proving that if we just put our efforts into creating the kind of works we see missing in the world, people will indeed respond.

What is your favourite style of porn to watch?
Feminist porn!  ;)
What has pushed your edges the most in your career?
Knowing my collaborator, Mia Gimp. I never would have even thought to make an adult film had we not met and become friends.

April 1, 2013

Absexuals and Erotophobes: Why They Hate Us for Our Freedom

Filed under: Good for Her News — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — Alison Lee @ 11:07 am

In anticipation of her talk by the same name on Wednesday April 3rd in Toronto, Dr Carol Queen teases us with a little more information on what she will be discussing.

What is an erotophobe?

An erotophobe is a person who feels or expresses great discomfort, fear, or hostility about sexuality, some element of sexuality (a homophobe is a version of an erotophobe), or something associated closely with sexuality — like porn, for example.

What is anti-sex theory?

Anti-sex theory, as I use it in describing the talk I’m going to give at the FPA, would be the beliefs or philosophies with which erotophobes justify their erotophobia. Comparing it again to homophobia: not all homophobes queer-bash, or act out against LGBTQ people; but when you begin to talk to them and get them to express their belief system, it focuses on reasons they think queers are not as good as straight people, are sinners, are sick, etc. An erotophobe may believe comparable things about kinky people; folks  in open relationships; porn; those who have a lot of sex; the list goes on. Anti-sex ideologies are connected to part of the sex addiction movement as well, and help explain the basis of anti-porn and anti-sex work belief systems. These ideas almost always have at their core a belief in sexual “normalcy,” and a judgmental view of those who do not fit into that category.

Really, when one boils it down, anti-sex theory contrasts to sex-positive theory: the notion that we are naturally diverse, sexually, and that everyone has the right to their own sexual feelings and practices, as long as those are consensually engaged in. Erotophobes don’t fundamentally believe this.
Much of what I call here “anti-sex theory” dovetails with some religious belief about sexuality. But they are not the same thing, exactly; some religious people are quite open about sexuality, while some people who aren’t religious are still erotophobes.

What does erotic freedom mean to you?

That diversity of desire, orientation, and choice about sex and relationships is a given, as is each person’s ability to live their own preferred sexual life. That may mean monogamy, open relationships, a solo-sexual focus, casual sex, or asexuality; it may mean kinky or vanilla. I do not refer here to any kind of nonconsensual sex — that wouldn’t be “freedom” for both parties. Erotic freedom doesn’t mean having the ability to go out and take what you want. It implies responsibility and a respect for the desires of others.

What have you noticed about how sexual freedom has evolved over the years?

When I was young, the notion of sexual freedom generally meant being free to have a lot of sex. It was even then inflected with freedom against bias for LGBT folk, and I think this has become an increasingly-important part of contemporary ideas of sexual freedom. Also emergent is a greater understanding of the freedom NOT to have sex, to have one’s sexual boundaries respected, which has gone along with a greater awareness of BDSM and kink, and discourses about consent.

Are there any dangers to eradicating normalization of sex?

It will be very hard on the bigots. Compare it to the same-sex marriage debates: most people don’t think that their own chances for married happiness are curtailed if two men or two women also have this. But for those who really do believe this, the upsurge in support for same-sex marriage must be personally excruciating — the special status they believed they occupied is no longer at the top of the heap. In terms of erotophobia, the “bigots” I mean are the people who judge others and who would dehumanize or deny people rights because of all kinds of sexual difference, not simply sexual orientation.

Also, while a narrow idea of sexual normalcy doesn’t prevent bad things from happening in the sexual realm, on the surface it seems to–at least many people believe that if “normalcy” were enforced with enough vigor, it would prevent things like abuse, STD transmission, “addiction.” There is a fundamentally conservative way of looking at this issue that says that without any temptation or “looseness,” these bad things won’t happen. But of course they still do, always did, and sexual freedom advocates argue that the conservative perspective actually makes more room for this, because of course temptation and desire cannot be completely eradicated; a binge-purge or “I couldn’t help it, I reached the breaking point” mentality about sex supports the problem that some sex is acted out non-consensually and if you are already doing something wrong, pushing or breaching someone’s boundaries is perhaps less of a stretch. (The sexual freedom alternative is being able to say what you want and negotiate to get it.)
So the danger here — though I would rather call it a challenge — is that people who have lived their lives within certain constraints hear/understand the phrase “sexual freedom” to mean, “there are no constraints and no rules.” Eradicating the notion of normative sex isn’t an on-off switch. It doesn’t mean we have less respect for people we desire sexually, it means we have more, because their own desires and limits are just as important as our own. If we don’t successfully talk about these issues and teach people responsibility and respect for consent, we do risk people acting without respect for boundaries. But of course, we already live in a culture where that happens all the time. And it happens in a context of pervasive shame — “I’m not supposed to do this in the first place, so in desiring to do it, I’ve already proved that I’m bad.” Sexual shame is very much the enemy of responsible sexual choices and positive communication — and it is the default state in a culture that implies or demands that there is one way, or a narrow range of ways, to be “normal.”

Who has the most to lose if everyone explores sex as they please?

It will be very hard on the bigots.

It may also be hard on people who count on an overarching consensus about “normalcy” in sex and relationship structure to give them context, because it means people will have to take responsibility for their own expectation and desires, and talk about these things with others. The whole notion of sexual freedom tends to bring sexual discourses and choices out of the closet. This also means that many of us won’t have the support or skill set needed to do that — so few of us really come into our sexual maturity ready to talk comfortably about sex, figure out what we want, etc (and it’s even harder for youth). So this whole idea requires us to take cultural responsibility for good sex education, relationship preparation, and other elements that most of us get better at (if we do at all) through trial and error–not because we were taught information and skills to begin with.
So another way to answer this: If everyone all of a sudden decided to be a sex explorer, we would all need to learn together how to make that the “new normal” — with all the diversity (and respect for diversity) it implies. The biggest challenge is to already-existing relationships in which each partner might not be desirous of exploring sexuality in the same ways. Of course — this is really important to stress – this is already happening. It is just, so frequently, not out in the open. One reason to support sexual freedom is because it can support couples like this in addressing hidden questions of incompatibility in a more open way. Another thing it might do is give people more acceptable options than getting into a relationship as a way to get sexual needs met.
Does “sex-positive” or “pro-sexual freedom” mean that everybody HAS to explore their sexuality?
This is nonsense. It means everyone could choose to do that, given their needs, desires, and any constraints they’ve freely adopted (like monogamy in a relationship, for instance). Sex-positivity isn’t the same as “I Love Sex!” (though, great if you do; it probably beats hating it); it doesn’t mean that only sexual adventurers and kinky chandelier-swingers are sex-positive (many are not — sex community and sex-positive community are not always the same things). Among other things, sex-positive culture needs good sex education and open discourse about sex, and I would suggest that we are not there yet… though some days I think we are moving in the right direction.
Please note that this is not a social philosophy that I encourage people to adopt instead of, say, a commitment to economic justice. It is a way to think through issues of freedom intended to connect with other progressive ideals: anti-poverty initiatives, challenges to other kinds of bigotry, things of that nature. It is a way to address the sexual pieces of what poet Muriel Rukeyser called “despisals.” A world in which we feel free, and socially supported, in despising one another is a world that needs change, and I am talking about the sexuality-related element/s of a larger philosophy of respect and well-being.

Want to learn more? Come to Carol Queen’s Talk on Wednesday April 3rd. Sign up here.

March 8, 2013

Dr. Charlie Glickman Talks Prostate Pleasure

Filed under: Good for Her News — Tags: — Carlyle Jansen @ 12:44 am
1) What are common misperceptions that people have about prostate play?

The biggest one is that enjoying it implies anything about a guy’s sexual orientation or masculinity. What kinds of sex you like is about where your nerve endings are concentrated. Who you want to have sex with is your sexual orientation. And one doesn’t have to imply anything about the other at all, unless you want it to. A lot of heterosexual men have plenty of fun with prostate play, and for that matter, some gay men don’t.

Another common misunderstanding is that anal play hurts. It’s true that if you don’t do it correctly, it can be uncomfortable or painful. So we have lots of tips for making it feel good so you can enjoy your prostate pleasures.

The third big concern we heard when surveyed almost 200 people as part of  writing the book is whether anal play gets “messy.” Obviously, we do need to be a bit more careful with it than with some other kinds of sex, but it’s not hard to do. And of course, our book tells you everything you need to know.

2) What is something that was particularly interesting to you in researching this book?


One of the common stereotypes is that gay men know all about prostate play. After all, don’t they have lots of anal sex? Leaving aside the research showing that anal sex is on the menu for gay men https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21883941, only about 40% of the time, many of the gay men I’ve spoken with didn’t really know much about the prostate other than that it’s “up there.” Not only that, but when we asked them how often prostate play was part of anal sex for them, we heard everything from “every single time” to “not at all, I don’t like it.” That wasn’t what we expected, which is why we felt it was so important to do the survey.

Also, we heard from a few men who had experienced a prostate exam at the doctor’s office and decided that prostate play wasn’t for them. But doctors are trained to make exams as non-pleasurable as possible so nobody thinks they’re being sexual with patients. They don’t want it to hurt, but they don’t want it to feel good, either. So don’t let your medical exams get in the way of enjoying yourself!
3) Any suggestions for folks who are  not sure how to bring up prostate play with a partner?

First, don’t bring it up during sex. While that sometimes works, it can also be a disaster. I’m a fan of having a chat over dinner or while out for  walk. Say something like “I read this website about prostate play and I’m sort of interested in it. Did you know it’s the male G-spot?” Then, send them the link to our site: www.prostatepleasureguide.net. We designed it to be easy for partners to discover how much fun prostate pleasure can be!

4) What is a toy that is great for a beginner (but maybe often undervalued?)


I’m a big fan of the Aneros MGX Prostate Massager. It’s slim, so it’s a good one for beginners, and it’s hands-free so you can use it solo or during sex with a partner. Plus, the folks at Aneros know their anatomy and they really listen to user feedback, so their products are amazing.
If you’re more experienced and you want something fun, look for a dildo or other toy with a curved shaft or with a bulbous head to reach the prostate. If you have a Hitachi Magic Wand, the Silicone G-spotter made by Pleasure Works is fantastic! It’s easy to clean, and it carries the vibrations all the way to the prostate.

I also like the dildos made by Vixen Creations, especially their VixSkin models. They’re more realistic, but even if you don’t care about that, they’re a bit more flexible than some other dildos, so they’re a bit easier to use.

5) What qualities make a good anal lube in your estimation?

Look for something thicker, like a gel, to give some extra cushioning. While water-based lubes are easy to clean up, they dry out. So I often suggest a lube with some silicone in it to keep things slick. Try Please Gel or Wet Synergy for prostate play. They last a long time and still rinse off easily. One thing- cover silicone toys with a condom since these lubes sometimes react badly with some toys.

6) What is something that you wish medical professionals better understood about prostates and pleasure?


I would love to see more medical professionals get trained on sexuality in general. They get so little training about any kind of sex, much less prostate play. Doctors need to be able to ask patients about sexual effects of medications or health issues. They also need to be offer better information about sexual pain or how different treatments can affect libido or sexual function. Unfortunately, most of their sexuality education focuses on sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, both of which are important but not the whole picture.

That means that it’s up to patients to raise questions and ask for information, which many are unwilling or unable to do. So it would be wonderful if doctors could initiate those conversations and improve sexual health outcomes.

February 8, 2013

Love is for Everyone Every Day!

Filed under: Good for Her News — Carlyle Jansen @ 11:42 am

Looking to treat yourself or a special someone to something fun?
Here are some great ideas to sparkle things up a bit:
- Does not vibrate, it thrusts!
- Totally radical and unique for a different kind of ride
- Great size and shape for a full feeling and pleasure

- great for all kinds of play- internal and external
- 2 speeds and 3 pulses
- affordable and reliable at $39

- 42 hours of warm massages in this candle with bourbon or vanilla scent
- Elegant no-drip container
- Solid candle melts into a luxurious massage oil
- Great way to initiate connection
- Scents to make you swoon
- Beautifully packaged so that your partner feels truly indulged
- Includes:
  • Luna Beads (Ben Wa balls)
  • Etherea Silk Cuffs (100% Silk and Suede restraints)
  • Sensua Suede Whip (Soft tassels with metal/acrylic handle)
  • Gift Card
  • Satin Storage Pouch
- Ties your partner to the bed without eye bolts or damaging your frame
- All in one system sets up and takes down in minutes
- Do you show them what it is before they open the package of after they are blindfolded and all set to go in the restraints?
- Always wanted a sling but don’t have a place to put it? As long as you have a door you are good to go!
- Allows you to have endless pleasure in a comfortable position
- Put it up or put it away in minutes- faster than your kids can run up the stairs!
- Amazing design engenders penis envy in just about anyone!
- Offers outstanding texture and pleasure
- Add suction if desired
- Can be used solo or partnered
- A movie in french with english subtitles (means you can follow along if you fast forward!!)
- “Real” actors (rather than adult performers) talking about their sex lives with flashbacks to hot sex scenes
- A must for the queer and trans crowd
- An excellent movie with some great edgy sex and a little drama
- We dare you to watch the trailer and not be tempted to see the whole thing!

- Romantic, all black heterosexual couples (unfortunately so rare!)
- Well -filmed, romantic sex

Books:
- Keep the spark alive despite challenging schedules
- How to make the most of little moments for great encounters
And of course there is erotica, where the name says it all!
Finally, what happens when you want to get it on but you are on your period? Avoid the mess by using a sex sponge. Allows you to have intercourse, fingers, toys and oral sex without worrying about the laundry.

January 28, 2013

Vulva-Empowering Products

Filed under: Good for Her News — Alison Lee @ 2:17 pm

Are you looking to improve your relationship with your own vulva?  Or just add a bit of vulva-appreciation to your life?  Here are a few of our favourite things designed to promote the vulva love.

Vulva Puppet: The wondrous Vulva Puppets created by the House O Chicks is an anatomically correct representation of the vulva that is gorgeous, lovely to touch and a great way to learn or teach about the fabulousness of our genitalia.

Books:

I’ll Show You Mine: This book is a photo study of female genitalia and a window into women’s experiences of their genitals.  I’ll Show You Mine contains 120 photographs of 60 women, with all women photographed from the same two positions.  Each woman also writes a short or long piece about their vulva or why they decided to participate. A fabulous resource that shows the true diversity of vulvas and reinforces the beauty of women’s bodies.

Vulva 101: This is a gorgeous hardcover book that showcases the beauty of the female genitalia in stunning full-colour photographs.  Photographer Hylton Coxwell decided to capture 101 different vulvas as a way of counteracting the shame that many women feel about their bodies.  The result is a respectful homage and joyous celebration of the body.

DVDs:

Red Hot Touch: Genital Massage for Women DVD: Learn fantastic techniques to treat your vulva right!  Covering the importance of lubrication and a series of sensual touches that can be done by a partner or solo, this video is a great resource for learning to love your (or someone else’s) vulva using your fingers. Heterosexual white couples.

Fire in the Valley: Female Genital Massage DVD: With more diversity on screen, watch a variety of ways to pleasure a vulva and vagina- yours or another’s- with fingers! For each stroke, a man massages a (pregnant) woman, a woman pleasures herself and a woman pleasures a woman.

Selfloving DVD by Betty Dodson: Watch how 10 white women discover and accept their own body’s unique beauty, taste, smell and sexual response.  A transformative DVD that will encourage even the most shy woman to embrace more fully her body’s  inherent divine gifts.

Viva La Vulva! DVD By Betty Dodson: A more diverse group of women talk about their vulvas and their relationship to them, then primp themselves for a photoshsoot of their genitals that inspires their own artwork.

And of course:

Vibrators: Experiencing sexual pleasure is one of the best ways to gain a thorough appreciation of our vulvas.  Vibrators are a very popular tool to bring about intense sexual pleasure.  They are also a great tool for exploring all that our vulvas encompass – try using a vibrator all along the outer lips and the inner lips, internally and directly on the clitoris as well as inside the vagina if you like.  Vibrators offer many different ways to explore pleasure. Find your own favorite way to celebrate the pleasure your body has to offer!

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