Health and Safety
Alternative remedies for yeast infections
Question:
What is the best thing that I can get to get rid of yeast infection and are there any alternative methods available to solve this problem?
Answer:
Yeast infections can be quite common for women and are usually easy to get rid of. It is very important to know that what you have is a yeast infection and not another form of infection. Yeast infections are usually characterized by an overgrow of the yeast-like fungus called Candida. Symptoms include redness, itching and/or a thick white discharge in the vagina.
For any chronic problems, or if you are unsure about what kind of infection you have, it is advisable to see a physician but for the average yeast infection there are several options for relief. There are traditional medications available at the drugstore and these work well for many women. One theory, though, is that these traditional medications get rid of the "bad" as well as the "good" bacteria in your vagina, thus reducing your abilities to keep it healthy and perpetuating the cycle of yeast growth. As for alternative methods, many women eat plain yogurt (the bacteria combats the fungus), take acidophillus tablets orally or even insert them for up to 5 days into the vagina. Wrapping a garlic clove in gauze and inserting it into the vagina also has helped many women find relief.
There is a great little booklet called Hot Pants: Do It Yourself Gynecology and it contains homeopathic methods and natural treatment for many gynecological problems. You can find many of these products in you own refrigerator, local grocery store or health food store. It is also a great opportunity to take control over what goes into your body and what meets your specific needs.
Are vibrators waterproof?
Can they electrocute you?
Question:
How do vibrators actually work? And is there a chance of electrocution? Are most vibrators water proof?
— Edith
Answer:
Dear Edith:
Vibrators are like a mechanical massager, something that moves faster than a hand, fingers or other body parts. Often they have a moving part that spins around the inside circumference very quickly to make the vibration sensation. Most vibrators are battery operated, although some of the most powerful ones are plug-ins. Most are NOT waterproof, and it is specified on the packaging if it is waterproof. If you get water in a battery operated vibe the worst thing that would happen is it that it will stop working. As for plug-ins, it is like any appliance that connects to an electrical circuit, it could lead to electrocution if used in water.
There are a few great vibrators that can be used in the shower, bath, or hot tub, such as the Basic Waterproof or Slim Waterproof plastic vibes, the Waterdancer mini vibe and the Realistic Jelly Vibes. These waterproof vibes are great to be used outside the body while underwater but it is recommended that women do not have vigourous penetration while underwater because the water pressure through the cervix into the uterus can be fatal.
HPV and Lesbian Sex
Question:
I'm a 28 year old chick lover. I am currently seeing a girl that I enjoy spending time with. I'm not rushing into anything... However, I've been diagnosed with human papilloma virus in the past and have since been able to fight it off with my immune system alone (I no longer get a positive result after my Pap). Is it easily transferable during lesbian sex and if so, how can I prevent that?
- M
Answer:
I checked out lesbianSTD.com, which stated the following: transmission "very likely occurs, probably through direct contact of genital skin, or contamination of hands/fingers." The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has a fabulous section on STIs, specifically for women having sex with women. It states that "HPV can be transmitted from one mucosal membrane to another -- from vulva or anus to mouth". I also talked to someone at our local STI hotline, who warned that even if you cannot see lesions, they may still be there.
Although nothing is 100% foolproof, if you use latex dams for oral sex, gloves for hand stimulation and condoms on all sex toys, you are taking the best precautions available, short of abstinence. Keep in mind also that anytime you touch your genitals, any infection can then be transferred to whatever you touch. That means that touching her hand which then touches her vulva can pass on an infection. Likewise, the infection can pass to her via something that you both touch, such as a bottle of lube. I like to put a glove or a condom on the lube bottle so that the bottle itself does not get juiced, and I like to double glove, i.e. wear two gloves, so that when I want a clean new surface, I simply take one glove of, and voila, ready for round two!
This may seem all very onerous, but I find that once it becomes habit, it is not a big deal at all. And making safer sex products sexy is always a great thing -- using gloves as feathers on the body before you put them on can feel great. They also are great for slapping on the body, with lots of noise and no pain.
For more info on the web, it was suggested to me to do a search under HPV and you should find lots of great information. Have fun!
Is it healthy to go without sex for 15 years?
Question:
Is it healthy to go without sex for over fifteen years?�I have been trying to influence my spouse to get back into sex interest, but still no desire. Where can we go for help?
Answer:
With regards to sexual appetite, each person is different and has different levels of desire. It is not necessarily physically unhealthy to go without but it seems to be affecting your relationship with your partner. You may want to consider the variety of factors which may be influencing your partners' lack of interest in sex. Stress, hormones, relationship and family concerns, medications, or any number of things may be contributing to a lack of desire. After such a long time it becomes the status quo and familiar. If you are looking to change this situation, it is crucial that you are both communicating with each other so that you can work towards something together. You might find that seeing a therapist together can help you communicate better and uncover anything in a safe environment that might be underlying your partner's lack of desire.
Is mineral oil a safe lubricant?
Question:
Is mineral oil a safe lubricant for women?
— Health Conscious
Answer:
Dear Health Conscious:
Mineral oil does not make a good lubricant. Anything with oil in it, such as petroleum jelly, baby oil, bath oil, hand lotion, massage oil, etc are all rather unsafe because they block pores and do not allow the skin to breath and trap bacteria which can then multiply, which may lead to infections. Oils are also bad for condoms and toys since they deteriorate break down latex. Some women seem to be able to get away with using very pure oils, such as olive or almond oils if they are not using toys or latex, but many of us will end up with infections as a result.
There are a number of great sexual lubricants that would generally be preferable to use for sex play. We have a variety of lubricants to choose from, they come in different consistencies, some last longer than others, some taste better than others, and some are very natural and chemical-free. Some of our most popular lubes are "Bodywise Liquid Silk", "Frixion" and "Eros". Please look at out on-line site lube section. There you will find one category called "Regular Lubes" and another called "Glycerin-Free Lubes." Glycerin is a type of sugar which may lead to yeast infections for some women who chronically get these infections. Glycerin can also contribute to the lubricants feeling sticky or tacky when the water in them begins to evaporate. Many folks like to drop by to try them out on their hands and see how they feel to the touch. You can also order a tester pack with one of everything or just the glycerin-free lubes. This is a great way to figure out which works best for you before you purchase a larger amount of one.
Lubricants & Yeast Infections
Question:
My partner found she was getting yeast infections and felt that the lubricant we used was a contributing factor. Is there a lubricant which is best to use to avoid this?
Answer:
Dear Concerned Partner,
There is some controversy surrounding yeast infections and lubricants. Glycerin is a common ingredient in lubes. Glycerin is a sugar and some say that the natural yeast in a woman's body will feed off that sugar and multiply. Others claim that it is not the kind of sugar that can be consumed by the yeast. I would experiment and see if it makes a difference to your partner. We have a number of glycerin-free lubes that you can try (Liquid Silk, Maximus, Eros, Wet Platinum and Slippery Stuff), including a tester-pack so you can see which one you like.
More on HPV and lesbian sex
Question:
I have HPV and I had cervical dysplasia that was treated three years ago. I've had about 3 pap smears a year since then and they have all been normal. I have never, to my knowledge had a gential wart either externally or internally besides the cervical dysplasia. Is it possible to pass the virus to another woman without the presence of a wart?
— Dana
Answer:
I encourage you to visit a sex-positive clinic in your area. If you are in a big city then there will likely be one in the lesbian/gay/bi/trans/queer community. In Toronto, the Hassle Free clinic is great.
There are often also telephone advice services with trained people who can talk to you about health related issues in an open and positive manner. In Ontario you can call the AIDS-Sexual Health Info Line at 1-800-668-2437. LesbianSTD.com is also another good resource.
When you do connect with a professional, be very specific about the kinds of sexual activities you engage in with women and the relative risk associated with each activity and how to minimize it. I talked to our heath info line and they said that you are not contagious without the presence of a wart. The problem is that if you have an internal wart, then you sometimes cannot determine its presence it without getting a pap smear done. Often they are too small to see.
Given that you have had 3 normal paps in the last 3 years, you may want to get more facts and talk with your partner about how much risk she is willing to take with different sexual activities. If you are not currently with a partner, then get some information for yourself so that you can be fully prepared for lots of questions and educating when you find someone you want to have sex with. Knowledge is power.
My girlfriend says she feels dead inside
Question:
My girlfriend of over 5 years has a big problem with sex. Over the last few years of our relationship her sex drive has dwindled down to nothing. Everytime I tried to seduce her, there was a new excuse. No matter how I tried to set the stage, candles, romantic dinners, soft music, she was not interested.
I was worried for a long time that she was uninterested in me, but about a year ago I saw a show on TV talking about women's hormone levels. I told my gf about it and just recently she went and had herself tested. Her hormone levels were less than normal and she's now on medication.
She still does not have any interest in sex in general and says she feels dead inside. I'm starting to go crazy because as much as I love her, we haven't had sex in months. The sex over the last two years has been awful when we had it, due to her low self esteem and the hormone inbalance.
I've tried to be as supportitive as I can for the last two years, reading everything I could on the matter, but I just feel like she's not doing anything to get out of this funk and I can't force her to get better. I feel like I'm trapped. On one hand I love her but on the other hand I feel like my good years are passing me by and our relationship is incomplete. I know sex isn't everything, but the frustration over the last two years is driving a wedge between us.
I don't want to give up and wind up having her think that I was so shallow that I gave up because of sex. On the other hand I've been patient for two years.
She wants to see a therapist, but she can't afford it.
What can I do, and more importantly where can she get some help?
— Committed and Confused
Answer:
It seems like you need to both have a real commitment to making this relationship work on all levels. As you stated, there is already a wedge between you, and it will only grow. Although you have been patient and stood by her side, you need to let her take the initiative and support her the best way you can. If you can help her through therapy bills, then that would be great. But she also needs to take on this project as being important to her. It must feel awful to feel dead inside and I wonder whether she is depressed.
If you are in Canada, she can find a medical doctor who is a psychiatrist or therapist who could help with things sexual or otherwise and will be free of charge. Given her low-self-esteem, she may be feeling badly for not meeting your needs and she may be fearing that you will leave her. The added pressure will further her sexual disinterest. As well, many people assume that the fires burn eternally without working at them. Maybe she is assuming it is just supposed to happen to her.
As for you, you need to make sure that you get your needs met. Sexual needs can be important and you do not need to feel that your dissatisfaction on that level is trivial. She may think that you are shallow if you leave her. You cannot control that. You can control how much you invest in making this relationship work. You cannot control her efforts. You can tell her that you will support her through her working through it (if indeed she wishes to), and if she does not then you can outline options. You did not mention children, so that might make things easier.
You could negotiate a non-monogamy agreement, where you had options to have sex with other people. You could negotiate to only go to sex parties or engage sexually with others without ongoing relationships that would threaten her emotionally. Or you could decide to leave and maintain a close friendship.
I think that it is important for you to figure out your bottom line and what is evidence to you that things are progressing so that you feel important and that your relationship is valued fully. Give her time to make a decision and for change to happen. It must hold a lot of fear for her and obviously has held her back thus far. Take the time to explore what is important to you without judging yourself. You will be much better able to make decisions that you feel good about.
Sex Toys and UTIs
Question:
My wife and I have a wonderful sex life, and continue to search for new ways to spice up our events!
She has used a vibrator and a dildo on several occasions and developed a urinary infection.
This was a few years ago, and I am wondering if there is "new technology" or techniques that we could employ to eliminate the possibility of future infections?
— Considerate hubby!
Answer:
Dear Considerate Hubby:
Urinary tract infections are usually caused by bacteria getting up the urethra, which then grow into an infection. To avoid this, many women urinate immediately after penetration to try and flush out the urethra.
If your partner was developing an infection after using a toy, it may be the material of the toy that caused the infection. Many toys are made out of jelly are latex and these materials can sometimes cause adverse reactions. If there is a known latex allergy, then you should only use product that are made of hard plastic or medical grade silicone. High quality silicone is soft, non-porous, and hypo-allergenic and warms to body heat. They may be a little more expensive but they are made from better material with better mechanics. Keep in mind that some cheap toys are marked as being made from "silicone jelly" — this is not the same high quality material and may still cause an adverse reaction. I would suggest checking out our silicone vibrators or coming into the store to take a look around.
STD testing with a partner
Question:
I have a question about being safe. There is a guy that I want to begin a sexual relationship with and my friends have suggested that we go to clinic so we can both be tested first. This sounds like a good idea to me and would help me to feel safer and more relaxed. but, how do I bring this up and then how does this work? Do we go together? Would I get to see his test results and would he see mine? That's what I would want of course but I just don't know how this all works.
— safe and sound
Answer:
Getting tested together is a great idea but it can be difficult to bring this up with a new partner. In order to feel relaxed it is helpful to know if you putting yourself, or someone else, at risk or not. There are some infections that can lay dormant or may not show symptoms so that we may not know we have them. There are many clinics that offer Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) or often now called STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) testing. You can also be tested anonymously. If you are in Toronto, I would recommend the Hassle Free Clinics listed below. They offer accurate, confidential testing - STD/STI testing can be done on a drop-in basis and HIV/AIDS is by appointment only.
What you may want to say to your partner: "It would make me feel more comfortable and relaxed about sex if we could get tested for STDs. We can do it together and it will eliminate any concerns either of us may have about putting ourselves and each other at risk. You have just as much reason to know about my sexual past as I do about yours. It is not that I do not trust you, it is that this is a good thing to do for any new relationship. Did you know that you can carry an STI without knowing it because there are no symptoms? In order for us to have a healthy sexual relationship I think it would be good to start off knowing where each of us stand."
This is just an example but you can see that if you place emphasis on doing it together and for each of you to feel reassured your partner may be less likely to get defensive and feel as though you don�t trust him/her. Good luck and don't forget that your health and comfort is your first priority. Please call for hours of operation and appointments:
HASSLE FREE WOMEN'S CLINIC
556 Church St., 2nd Floor (just north of Wellesley)
Toronto, ON M4Y 2E3
416-922-0566
HASSLE FREE MEN'S CLINIC
556 Church St., 2nd Floor
Toronto, ON M4Y 2E3
416-922-0603